Nurture – The relationship of a Father and his son

Nurture; what a powerful word, what a powerful feeling and what a powerful need that we all have. I entitled this article the relationship of a Father and his son, but it is not only between a father and son, it is any parent to any of their children, it is siblings to each other, it is family members and it is also between husband and wife.

nurture  (ˈnɜːtʃə)
— n

1. The act or process of promoting the development, etc., of a child

2. Something that nourishes

3. Biology.  See also nature the environmental factors that partly determine the structure of an organism

— vb

4. To feed or support

5. To educate or train

The World English Dictionary gives a basic over all description. It is also found in many medical journals I came across on Google Scholar, that there are physiological effects to the nurture of these close connections that were brought down at the beginning of the article. It was also found that if an individual is alone with no one to nurture or no one nurturing him, he can become physically ill.

I found this particularly interesting. It got me to further research this subject. In the end of the search it all burns down to intimacy. The proper nurture that is the healthiest and the most effective is the one that comes from intimacy. INTIMACY = “IN To Me C (see)”. This is an important concept that many people in our society and in our day and age are missing out on. Many people have no clue how to be intimate. It is really sad when one comes to think about it and when we finally understand what it is. Some of us get intimidated by it, since it is so uncommon and so rare. I find it unique since it is so rare – it is like a diamond, and the people who share real true intimacy are really lucky and really special.

Intimacy requires a lot of self-nullification and really getting to know the other party really well. One must lose all their selfishness and have no expectations what so ever as well as no illusionary control and no manipulation at all. This is particularly a very hard trait to come by, however, when it is achieved through hard and through self-growth work. It is the most rewarding thing ever. It is so special the no words can start describing these feelings.

I would like to share a very beautiful experience that I just had over the weekend and I think it can really demonstrate the beauty of this nurture and intimacy that I am referring to.

My children came over for a visitation time spent with me in my apartment. We watched a comedy; we played some games and had dinner. During one of our games my daughter needed to go to the washroom and required my assistance. Suddenly I hear some fighting, some screaming and then some crying. I look out of the bathroom and call out to the child that is crying and asked him what happened. He told me that his brother bit him. The older son was defending himself saying that his younger brother was cheating. I told my oldest that none-the-less there was no need to bite. Then I took my son that got bitten hugged him and comforted him, I then checked out his booboo and it was really red with bite marks. I gave him a kiss and reassured him that everything will be ok. I asked the older son to come and do the same, my daughter also wanted to hug and kiss him. It was really cute. After this whole episode and as soon as things calmed down, I asked my oldest to come to the side for some one on one time with me, I needed to talk to him. He came and I gently explained to him his wrongdoings, I then told him that there are consequences for mistakes we do. This is not a punishment but it is called discipline; my duty as a Daddy is to teach him between right and wrong and I would like him to sit in the corner for three minutes and think over what he has done. He was goofing around and acting silly, I made sure to make it clear that this was no joking matter and that I was very serious. He sat there very respectfully and listened right away. After the three minutes was up he asked me if it was ok to get out of the corner. I came over to him and told him that I really missed him; I didn’t like it that he was missing out on some fun with his siblings and me. I gave him a big long hug and kissed him, I then asked him if he has understood that what he has done was wrong? I reassured him and reminded him that I was not mad with him, I then took him to the mirror and showed him various parts of his face and told him how beautiful and holy he is. We spoke about each part of the face and their uses. When we got to the mouth I told him that mouths were for talking and not for biting. We can choose between good and bad, the mouth is meant to be a holy piece of our godly body and God will be much happier, we too will be much more accomplished when we use our body parts for the right usages. He was so happy and he found it fun.

This gave me so much satisfaction and contentment to see that I was able to educate my child in a way that was suited for him. There were no fights, and no resentments on his part; he was happy. He really learned his lesson and played and behaved so beautifully till the end of the visitation time. It is so beautiful to see them growing up, each in their own individual way; the only thing as a caring and compassionate father that I wish to be, is to show them empathy, to be understanding and to show them I care. That to me the bottom line is providing the best nurturing possible that I can give to my child. I hope to physically have some kind of positive impact on them, and I hope that they will grow in the happiest and most positive way. That to me this is the true nurture, and the true intimacy, that consequently brings on to true happiness. I personally believe that that is the best gift I can ever give to my children.

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One thought on “Nurture – The relationship of a Father and his son

  1. As a father of four boys I agree with your idea of nurturing, instilling a genuine sense of right and wrong, of actions and consequence, within a loving, empowering environment. It is a difficult thing to master consistently, particularly putting aside our emotions, but it will inevitably lead to strong, equipped and effective young men and women.

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