If I truly seek the truth I don’t have to look too far. All I need, is to look deeper in my self and start finding God or a power greater than myself within my heart. I will find this power after some conscious contact, until it will permeate my heart to the level that it will come across and out through my speech and tone of voice.
“It is not so overwhelming and it is not too far from you. It is not beyond the ocean, in order for you to ask, who will cross the sea in order to fetch it for us? It is not beyond the sky in order for you to claim, who will go up and retrieve it for us? Rather it is quite close it is in your speech and in your heart in order for you to follow it.” (Deuteronomy 30:11-14)
Last night I was at a family event; one conversation that came up was religion. Oh, how I hate when these conversations come up, don’t get me started on “religion” in today’s modern age’s understanding. To me it is simple. Religion = Books – not people. Hence the reason I am quoting directly from the Torah (which is my belief). The words speak for themselves. My religion and my answer is in MY heart, MY understanding and MY higher power, a power much greater than MYSELF. Therefore I believe that if I feel uncomfortable with something in my religion, just for today, I need to seek out and learn more about it; the moment it sounds good and it touches my heart – that is the way I will follow it. This is the message from MY higher power and MY religion. I need to keep looking, and keep searching until I find my answers that will satisfy my understanding and comprehension. This is the way my higher power has set forth for my personal journey in life.
Just for today – I will keep searching and searching until I find my comfort zone – I am no righteous, unreal, faker, super-natural, rabbi or whatever – I am a simple person, trying to find my way in my life. OK so today I am not doing everything I am supposed to; OK so today I am not following all the commandments to the tee, but that is all OK. I am growing, I am learning, I am starting right from the beginning and I know that God, my personal higher power, loves me no matter what, He is patient and He is waiting for me, just as He has waited for me until now.
Thank you dear God, for today, for your compassion, for your understanding, for your unconditional and everlasting love, for my new found understanding of your will, for my continued growth, for the deeper understanding that will come due to the growth, for the breath of fresh air in my body that seeks to only do your will; only for today, for the sunshine and light in a cold day, and for my friends and supporters that are always by my side when I need them. Thank you dear God, I love you too.