A friend of mine had a party the other night, which I only found out about a few days later. I knew he was planning this event, but then I didn’t know when and where it will take place. Was I upset that I wasn’t invited? Was I mad that he invited only two other members of our small group of eight or so? I don’t really know… Was I supposed to feel any sort of resentment or hurt? To be honest, I didn’t feel any resentment nor hurt. This guy doesn’t owe me anything, he doesn’t have to invite me if he doesn’t want to. I am not thaaaat close to him any ways. These thoughts came to my head when one of the members who wasn’t invited was going on and on about how that friend only invited two people and not the rest, when we always invite him to our stuff… etc.. etc.. etc..
It then dawned on me; Expectancy: It is an illness of it’s own. To me it is a negative connotation to lust. Now ‘lust’ doesn’t necessarily have to be taken in its sexual terminology, it can also mean a very strong desire for something; similarly ‘expecting’ is when one regards (has a strong desire) for something to likely happen. [see quotes below]
Lust |ləst| noun very strong sexual desire : he knew that his lust for her had returned. • [in sing. ] a passionate desire for something: a lust for power.
Expect |ikˈspekt| verb [trans.] regard (something) as likely to happen : we expect the best | [trans.] he expects the stock market to sink further [with clause]: we expect that farmers will harvest 63 million acres of hay. • regard (someone) as likely to do or be something: [trans.] they were not expecting him to continue. • believe that (someone or something) will arrive soon: Celia was expecting a visitor. • look for (something) from someone as rightfully due or requisite in the circumstances: we expect great things of you. • require (someone) to fulfill an obligation: [trans.] we expect employers to pay a reasonable salary. • (I expect) informal used to indicate that one supposes something to be so, but has no firm evidence or knowledge: they’re just friends of his, I expect | [with clause] I expect you know them?
Hence ‘Expectancy’ = ‘Lust’ (to some degree). If I keep expecting people to do things for me, I am lusting after them and I am putting my trust in them. People who have character defects, flaws and other personal issues of their own. I start depending on these people. Then when they “forget” to invite me to their party or something, I start hurting my self-esteem and self-worth, I start going into self-pity, self-loathing and victimization. All because I was “Expecting”.
How about I stop expecting from anyone anything. The only one I know to trust, that has no defect of character, that is fully complete and perfect in every shape and form – is God, my higher power. I know and believe that everything He does is for my best, He doesn’t forget me nor forsake me in any way. He loves me just the way I am and doesn’t expect from me anything what so ever. Therefore just for today – I would love to give thanks for this great gift of life, and all the abundant gifts He showers upon me daily (whether they seem to me as positive or challenging is another thing – nonetheless I am positive that they are all His gifts one way or another) – God gives these to me and expect nothing what so ever in return!
Thanks God for this beautiful day and gift you shower upon me. I love you so much!!!